I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize