Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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