Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
