Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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