Sponge bath it is.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
