You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
