i would punch a child for taco bell
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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