I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
