I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
