i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
