shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
