Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
