lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
