Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize