I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
