You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
