oh god the rape fog is back!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this boner is exhausting
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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