So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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