I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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