I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
