I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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