The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
