I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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