so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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