dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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