She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
