he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
