you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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