I want to walk on stilts...naked
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize