Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
