then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
