so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize