The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
