Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
