it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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