I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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