Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
