Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
