He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
