Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
