so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
