this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
