I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You smell like stripper and shame
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
