i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You pole danced in your parka.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
