just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
