so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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