Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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