So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
