i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
