is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
