I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
