The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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