You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
