Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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