Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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