I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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