Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
