Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
