now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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