ugly people sure do ruin things
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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