you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
