ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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