Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
