You can't motorboat a personality
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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