You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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