Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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