We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize